September 29th 2020 5:45am Tuesday

God helps those that help themselves. A hard pill to swallow, though it gets easier once you stop judging yourself based upon a perception of lack. We are capable of hearing our limiting beliefs without judgement, once this is achieved then they can be manipulated and replaced for the better. The universe, divine intelligence, god, what ever the fuck you want to define it as affords everyone everything they need to succeed, prove me wrong. Well really it’s unprovable which is why I would rather rely on a relative assumption that the universe is working in my favor. The counter to that is always “but if the universe can afford everyone with everything everyone needs then why is there war, famine, and poverty? And to that I have to conclude that I don’t know and that is not what I fucking talking about. I’m taking about capable individuals who have the grand opportunity to take responsibility for the actions that mold their lives. I see it as a duty at this point to be held at account for your own life. Again another hard pill to swallow. Even as practiced as I have become some part of me is still fucking off in areas that I know I am capable of cleaning up, I am continually learning. The voice that sounds like an aloof little kid that was put in a situation that was, from their viewpoint, objectively unfair. Something like if a person were to get a smaller piece of cake then someone else with equal attributes, could be a family member, coworker, or anyone else somewhere people are dividing cake. So much story of blame and lack can be concocted from such a simple situation. Could have been an accident on behalf of the person cutting. Could have actually been a malicious act of purposefully giving the victim of circumstance less cake then another. Either way the reaction to it and how you relate to the story is where I think people aren’t taking into account how it effects their world and why and how to take responsibility for themselves. The biggest pill to swallow in this case would be humility. I see it like this, if you want to be free you must be understanding, compassionate, and humble. You must also be able to act inside of these modes of being with a knowledge of love, joy, and excitement for the experiences that are thrown your way. Again even as practiced as I think I am resistance is showing up everywhere in my psyche. So I can totally understand how difficult it would be for someone who was the victim of circumstance at the result of someone else purposefully wronging them. For some it may be impossible to perceive the situation any other way outside of their story. Which is ok too, however the stuckness that is felt, and the blaming act that is inevitably performed for the world is not going to go away on its own. No progress can be made when stuck in stories. Actually that is a bit harsh of a claim, I like it, but I doesn’t quite ring true. What is more so, what is actually more possible as the meaning making machines that we are is again taking responsibility for the story. No progress can be made without taking responsibility for your stories. Closer I guess, I don’t really like without but let’s roll with it. I think you can be deeply invested in your stories and still take responsibility for them without judgment. Now the judgement part is where being loving, understanding, and humble play a large role in identifying where we can just be fucking nicer to ourselves. All this responsibility and accountability stuff really all comes down to individuals being a little bit nicer to themselves which in turn would hopefully manifest into people being nicer to others. I would like to see people be a whole lot nicer to themselves, that is the dream, but for now until that is fully manifested incrementally changing behaviors that lead towards a kinder inner dialogue is totally cool, for now. However when the world really needs you to show up you better start fucking loving yourself fast as fuck, because, in my opinion, that what is most needed and wanted from the universe for every person. The point of all of this even though I feel like I am just rambling whatever comes out first is a simple point that if people were to treat themselves nicer and more kindly especially through their inner dialogue then they would become less burdened by story and more capable of making the progressive choices and decisions that eventually lead towards desirable change. There is a quote apparently by Confucius that states, “Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof when your own doorstep is unclean.” This quote sums up the point of responsibility and accountability I have been trying to make pretty well. Extrapolating on the ideas in this statement further I would like to purpose that you replace neighbor with yourself. It seems to be a human tendency to see something like snow on the roof and make up a big story about how difficult it will be to remove and why bother clearing the doorstep because the roof snow is going to fall on it anyways, and then nothing gets done and there is still snow burdening the roof and crowding the doorstep. The worst part of this aspect of the human condition is that we tend to place blame on outside forces, inner forces, or some combination of both. We then have a tendency to harbor doubt about our capacity for change, this can even be taken as far as totally loosing faith in having any sense of belonging to the world. Another example is the idea that when you throw a piece of trash in your car and leave it there next time it will be easier to allow that action to happen, then again, and again, until your car is full of trash. And having a car full of trash is not desirable, just like a snowy roof and doorstep. When things occur as undesirable we want to hold something at fault, generally we blame others and ourselves. Then generally we tend to concoct believable yet fictitious stories about our own and others shortcomings. Depending on how nasty your inner dialogue is certain shortcomings can sound really detrimental and the echoes will stick around far after the actual situation. This propensity to repeat the same limiting beliefs is part of our condition, becoming aware of these mechanisms and acting differently in spite of them is where I want to be headed and I invite everyone to join me on this journey of self realization through love, understanding, and humility. That is all… for now. Kay Love You Bye! 1150 7:15am

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