October 5th 2020 Monday 6:19am

I allowed myself to enjoy a sleep in, felt like I needed it. I was up too late doing too many things. That’s not the point of today, the point is what if. The point is if you could get what you want, what would you have to do to get it. You said yesterday that the greatest power in nature is the power of human intention. When we focus our energy on a goal we are generally able to exceed expectations. You got a pretty good structure, time to start adding some weight. If you really want to do anything you must first write a request to the universe and be as specific as possible. Narrow down what you want to focus on and ask for assistance in whatever areas you feel like you need help. Next you are gonna get intu the practice of dreaming in order to manifest what you want. Write about the destination as if you have already gotten there in present tense. Draw it as an image or a map, create a visual representation of the destination. Create a framework for how you would have to be. Allow the challenge of restricting behaviors to become the work that needs to be put in towards alignment with core value to support your transformation.

It is 11:02am now, and I am so resistant to finishing this day up. I want to just leave it but once one thing is neglected, other things become easier and easier to neglect. So I’m back to hit the 750 goal and ramble on about personal development and progress. I am also resistant to this call for action I speak of. The previous paragraph points out and elaborates on a need for a specific target to focus my intentions on. I pretend like I have too many options and use the indecision as a distraction to keep myself in the comfortable known world I begrudgingly exist in. It is the same old story, it’s boring, and you since you are aware of it, you should have even more reason to do something about it. So lets not just give up all together because you can’t make a definitive choice this second. You have plenty of options, choose one, try it on, and if you don’t like the way it fits try something else. The first seemingly obvious objective my mind goes to is creating the shift towards becoming a holistic lifestyle coach. My perception wants to make it into a daunting task that is basically unreachable by an ordinary person like me. However the more I realize that really nobody has their shit together and the ones that make it seem like they do are probably really bad off in some category that is either being hidden or overlooked. I want to be mediocre to pretty good at most things. Thats why pinpointing can seem so hard for me. I don’t want to specialize, but then the desire to do everything bring me back into the same cycle of distraction by indecision and there is no movement. So break it down then, if you were to pay someone for a holistic lifestyle service what would you want? I would want the practitioner to be experienced in breathing and movement practices, nutrition and cleansing practices, bodywork modalities, personal growth coaching, vibrational healing whether it be sound, crystal, or herbs, and just simply be a real person who is compassionate and able to listen and be with other fully. It ain’t that much, at least for a super hero like me, you already know more than you think you know about most of those subjects and acquiring more knowledge is totally accessible. Dang, maybe I already know what the thing is and I am abandoning responsibility for creating the apparent existence of indecision. In the end it is all me. So what would it look like. Someone who is certified in nutrition, mobility and fitness coaching, vibrational healing modalities, cognitive and somatic therapies amongst other things. I want to incorporate all the senses into my practice, color, sound, taste, smell, intuitive movement, vision and proprioceptive recalibration. All of the good stuff that rings true and that I have tried out. You probably should just start by making an intention to try more new stuff out to see if it seems like something that is worth investing time intu. How else would you know if something is worth dissecting and incorporating into your skillset if you never put any energy intu it. Wow I think I actually figured something out, I still want to perceive it as vague but that is just my perception. It is totally more specific than you were a few years ago, back then you simply just knew you wanted to help people, and that was basically where you stopped yourself then with the self defeating cycle of indecision and doubt. The idea that you can state pretty accurately the place you want to be is the ground from which you can begin to work backwards and work out what is necessary to accomplish to get to where you want to go. Good job, seriously, just be with the process without judgement and flow with the tides of life. 878 11:54am

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