October 2nd 2020 Friday 5:26am

Day two of getting up with the 4:32am alarm. Feeling pretty sluggish on account of basically being hung over from too much sugar and empty carbs I ingested yesterday. This is the consequence I guess. Luckily I am young and strong with a resilient composition. That is all well and good for now but it won’t last forever. If you are still diluting your power now with undesirable temptations you may never be able to stop once you are older and things get harder. It isn’t even a matter of if it is a matter of when. When are you going to push towards greatness? Something as small as some chips and cookies are now holding you back from being in a joyous expression of yourself today. Then when I feel like this the writing is boring and I tend to just rely on bringing up all the things that I perceive to be doing wrong. Even worse is the propensity to bring up all the reasons and justification for all the things that I perceive to be doing wrong. What I have been thinking a lot about very recently due to a Jordan Peterson video is the idea that you aren’t even tackling the little things that are well within your scope of capability. Such as simply cleaning your room, cleaning your car, cleaning up the crap you have at your parents house. You have been neglecting those three simple tasks for years. Also seeing this as such a detriment to my life may not be the best way to view it either. You have accomplished a plethora of extraordinary tasks throughout your time here. However the constant craving for more is almost always present when you aren’t purposefully distracting yourself with all the forms of consumption that you love so much. Heres a decent though, consumption is slavery. You have come to this conclusion before in older writings that explain how the general consensus is to strive towards treating ourselves poorly. We defend it, we fight for it, we justify that it is our god given right to treat ourselves like shit. Whether it be with food, people, or stuff we are bred to believe that if we are entitled to more. The biggest trick is then we take it personal, we allow the stuff to define who and what we are. Kanye said, “I’m so self conscious, that’s why you always see me with at least one of my watches”. Without the watch he feels self conscious, it seems obnoxious but thats how the system got us. Somehow we have all been fooled to believe that the depth of ones character is less important than the depth of ones wallet. The worst part is “the people highest up got the lowest self esteem,” so we are striving to become the weakest type of person with the flashiest looking jewelry. I keep wanting to raise the questions how? and why? but thats really not the point. You could dive deep into what kind of false perception manipulation has been used to control large populations and understand why and how it was done, but that still leaves us at the same point we are at. The question is really what now? What is important enough to strive for that doesn’t involve such self deprecating behavior? That is the question, and the answers are simple really. One big thing that comes to mind as an umbrella term to use for most wants and needs is nourishment. Paul Chek has a four cog system that all relies upon optimal efficiency of each other cog to work effectively. Dream/goal/objective, sleep, exercise, and food/nutrient consumption. When all those categories can be nourished optimally then real progress can be made. The craziest part is that most outhouse categories for most privileged people are relatively inexpensive or free. It is totally free to set a goal, it’s free to sleep, in it’s most basic forms exercise is free. Food/nutrient consumption does seemingly have a cost. However the real cost of excessive amounts of heavily cooked processed foods which we all have become so used to consuming is far greater than simply eating when we are hungry and drinking when we are thirsty. I intend to focus on goals and consumption, I know those are the two areas that I easily slack off in and rely on the general detrimental behavior we have been tricked into thinking is freedom but is really slavery. It is definitely an uphill battle, like I someday hope to stop craving McDonalds but that is just a hope. Through time and pressure carbon can be formed into a diamond so anything is possible given the right circumstances. 786 6:18am

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