October 1st 2020 Thursday 5:41am

Hello October! We did it! Look at us! Can you believe it? I can’t either, but we are here and it feels good to be in it. I had two thoughts this morning one was about morning routines. The other is a lot deeper. A thought about undesirable situations, specifically how our behavior seems to be wired towards blaming the external forces over taking any responsibility for the meaning we make about the stories. This condition seems to be as widespread as most general human behaviors. Personally I have spent years playing out the act of a person blaming “life” and everything in it for all of my problems. Never once during that time could I even begin to imagine changing the dialogue I was having with myself about life. It really wasn’t until recently that I got even a glimpse into taking responsibility for my stories. The example I want use is a person who has done another wrong but it could also be related back to our selves if we have a tendency to be self sabotaging. The behavior of blaming the perpetrator is natural and easy and most people would agree with you that if someone did you wrong that person is at fault, and I am not claiming that a wrong doer isn’t at fault, if they have done something cruel and malicious they should definitely be held to account. Also, generally I know so little about justice that I am doubting my ability to even judge what kind of punishment would be warranted for someone involved in “crimes.” Regardless of justice, fairness, and punishment. The idea I want to extrapolate on is how easy the blame game is, and how much more work it seems to be to delve into the reasons why people do shitty things and why shitty things happen. That just got me thinking about how there is always two or more sides to every story. Also the question is raised, can something that happens not involving other people actively being shitty be labeled as a something shitty objectively? Ugh this is getting deeper the more I think and type about it. Lets say a tree falls on you, or your car, or your property, or even your mom, is that inherently a shitty situation? or is it dependent on the meaning and the story. I think you know the answer to that but again its all relative. Of course it depends on the story, your car could be broke and the tree was the nail in the coffin that it needed for you to get a new car. So then the story wouldn’t be so shitty, the story would be a victory. It is easy to paint the picture this way with inanimate stuff occurring seemingly because of natural cause, but the thing I ponder is when another person is involved, is it still a natural cause? What can be done about dealing with that shit?. Two more questions that are seemingly difficult to think critically about are, what can be done to prevent undesirable things from happening?, and how does one implement structures and systems that support the knowledge and action? Sounds very vague I know. The vague answer to both the questions is inner dialogue and story maintenance. Depending on the situation and the parties involved this probably seems impossible, absurd, and generally a waste of time. I don’t think I will be getting into morning routine because I have barely scratched the surface of this topic. The absurd idea I want to bring up is how do we reconcile blame versus growth. Something like that. Sure it is easy as fuck to blame someone for doing something shitty and berate that person for every little thing they have and will ever do. However at what point is there any progress to educate? become more knowledgeable? or allow growth from shitty situations versus just stewing on the shit for until it become detrimental? Also in no way is it my intention of justifying people doing shitty things. I just want to poke at the idea that generally people are putting themselves in harms way. That isn’t to say random chance things don’t occur, but generally people seemingly have some control over their destiny, or at least I like to believe so. The idea that if someone is harmed then all responsibility is stripped from their story and the meaning becomes a blame and victim mentality. I have barely scratched the surface, I know, but the idea that shifting the focus towards what people are capable of transforming versus what seems to be a removal of responsibility when invested in blame.781 6:59am

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