August 5th 2020 Wednesday 5:35am

I finally figured it out. I had been using WordPress.com to make a back log of blog posts that I never posted. I didn’t quite understand why I wasn’t able to change or customize the layout the way I saw people doing on YouTube tutorials. Now I get it, sorta, there is a WordPress.org that allows you to download the software and run it through a hosting site. So now I think I am finally ready to publicly blog all the random shit I write about in the mornings.

The practice of getting up a little earlier and writing on the computer has been so beneficial for a sense of accomplishment. If I can get a cold shower, make the bed, make coffee, and write at least 750 words my day has started right. I want to be more eloquent with the writing. Make shorter sentences. Then again also just want to do whatever feels good, which may mean having run on sentences that really accomplish nothing but go against grammatical correctness protocols. Some if not all of this may be perceived as nonsense. My hope is that nonsense to some is genius to others.

I am really good at allowing the negative, devaluing, discrediting self talk take the reins and just begin to rattle off insufficiencies. It’s not unique, it is the human condition. My intention is to allow things to flow and save myself from the secondary judgment of having to pause and waste time while writing trying to think of something inspiring to say. Out of the tens of thousands of words I have written and am writing I bet less then a hundred or so are truly meaningful and inspirational.

Since the beginning of May I have gotten up nearly every day got on the computer and wrote at least 750 words. The number and practice of writing comes from first the Artist’s way book. The first most important thing that book highlights is how crucial writing is. The book calls them “morning pages” and it recommends writing three pages in the morning daily. I took that practice on about three years ago. I started on a notepad and cheap composition books. I moved onto “decomposition’ books. I liked the idea of recycled paper and they have cool art on them. I now have six books completely full of my rambling. The voice in my head continually reminds me that I do this for “posterities sake.” Funny how a two word phrase can make such a major impact on behavior. Years ago a friend of mine was telling someone else to turn their phone horizontally to take a picture. He said to take the picture that way for posterities sake, and it just stuck with me.

Over a year into trying out some Artist way stuff I saw an ad for this guy Ryan Orrico doing random talking video. He would call out yoga fundamentalists on their bullshit. Even though I hadn’t even really done yoga at that point I followed. I was given this idea of intuitive genius the summer of 2017. The idea came out of doing the forum in early May, going to camp jam in mid May, and starting the being extraordinary seminar. Thats when a transformation happened that I still point to as the shifting point of between where I am now and where I was for the majority of my life prior. I think intuitive genius came out of that situation because I was so full of feelings of love, joy, excitement for life that I wanted to develop some way of sharing the experience. The idea is to create a program? I still question what exactly “it” looks like. However I know I want it to offer resources, maps, plans, frameworks that all align with human optimization.

Dang actually thinking about what the heck I am writing and why and trying to develop some kind of cohesion between telling a story and explaining parts of it is tough. Usually I am just writing shit like blah blah blah this is fucked up thats shitty all the shit is fuck and fuck is shit and this thing is there but yea maybe the point is to make a little more sense. The story goes like this, first act as if you exist. Pretend the role with different aliases. Take time to wonder why we are here. Release the motives and the fear. Shift the patterns before it’s “too late.” But when late isn’t late enough you know you’ve met the fate of a world so chaotic yet nimble. The work may be hard but the decision is simple. 775! 6:19am

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